Brothers and sisters… I have 8 of them. To be true, most people express surprise at such a number. I guess it’s rare in this age of 2.5 kids (or has that number decreased?) to meet a family with 9. When I continue to explain that we have a span of 21 years from youngest to oldest, most wince when they think about my mother. After enjoying watching them try to comprehend that possibility for a few seconds, I’ll elaborate and explain the “hers, mine and ours scenario.” We are from 3 marriages: 4 from my Dad’s first marriage, 3 from my Mom’s first marriage and then myself and my younger brother (now passed on) from Dad and Mom’s union.
Except in those situations, I never use “half-brother” or “half-sister” when talking about family because those labels to me might imply “less than” or “not as complete.” And that’s simply not the case. Unless we’re talking medical history, it’s just not relevant. So, I have 5 brothers and 3 sisters (whom you met in my previous blog; you’ll meet the bro’s soon). We all get along pretty well. That maybe wasn’t always the case when we were kids, but underlying our wrestling or tearful childhood exchanges was the knowledge that we were loved, we were a family and we stuck together.
It’s interesting and insightful to develop friendships and deeper relationships with siblings as adults. Travel with them in your mature years and I guarantee you’ll learn things about them you never knew. They become people with hopes, dreams and problems just like you when you really get to know them.
And, if you’ve ever had the unfortunate experience of packing up one’s life after they’ve passed on, you may learn things that could warm your heart… once you get over the feeling that you’re invading the privacy of someone who is no longer present. Heck, as kids, you didn’t think twice about getting into their “stuff” but in this situation it’s completely unsettling.
My eldest sister loaned me a book once called Birth Order and You and I remember it said that each child born into a family is born into a different family. Circumstances, economics and the environment change with each baby.
I wouldn’t change growing up in a large family for anything. I don’t love them half, I love them whole… and the fact they’re in my life makes my life complete in many ways.
OPEN YOUR HEART: Today, tell your brother or sister you love them. If you don’t have one, tell someone who is like a brother or sister to you. Blood may be thicker than water but water is just as precious to our body, in my books. If you’re not sure that you love your brother or sister, it might be time for some introspection and forgiveness (for yourself primarily – and that’s a lesson for another time).
Scrapbooks for the Soul
I grew up oldest of 8. After my dad died, my mom remarried to a man with 3 kids. So that makes a whole slew of siblings, especially adding in all the inlaws. I can’t think of a better way to go through life!
Mary, mom to 10
Thanks for this post. I’m adopted and a have one sister (technically a “half sister”) who is 18 years younger.:-) I can’t imagine loving her any more than I already do!
No siblings here, but a few close friends have become like brothers and sisters through life. They have ended up being more loving and supportive than anyone in my family ever was.
They’ve helped make the hole; whole.
Brenda, we share something else in common. I also have half (and step) thing in my family and I feel the same way. It’s a technical detail that diminishes our actual relationship. They’re my brother and sisters and I am so grateful that they are in my life.