I’m feeling ashamed for how I’ve acted towards someone who loves me. Why is it we sometimes treat those we love worse than a stranger? (Not that we should treat strangers terribly either.)
I don’t know what drove me to act so out of character, but I experienced a side of myself I didn’t think I had and I didn’t like it one bit. As I was told, I am “better than that.” It took someone else to remind me of who I am.
The Universal Law of Polarity comes to mind. For everything there is an opposite. In order to experience light, there must be darkness. We would only know love, if we had experienced not being in love. To grow and have joy, we must push through chaos and sadness. We couldn’t differentiate one if we didn’t have the other.
To shine, we must see the depths of our character. I felt mistrust, followed by despair, then shame.
Life is an interesting school. We’re all here to learn and the lessons are different for each of us. If we don’t pass the tests and learn the lessons, we’re bound to repeat our mistakes and be tested again until we get it right. Whether that’s in this lifetime or another is for our soul to decide.
For now, I will allow myself to feel this shame, wallow in it awhile so that I will remember this. I’ve shed tears for the hurt I’ve caused, including for the great disappointment in myself (how could I not trust another or myself? so not like me.)
I’ll ask for forgiveness. Then I’ll forgive myself, take from these lessons and shine my light in the world once again.
You Are Loved (Don’t Give Up) by Josh Groban
Don’t give up
It’s just the weight of the world
When you’re heart’s heavy
I…I will lift it for you
Don’t give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I…I will break it for you
Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don’t give up
Because you are loved
Don’t give up
It’s just the hurt that you hide
When you’re lost inside
I…I will be there to find you
Don’t give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I…I will shine to guide you
Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don’t give up
Because you are loved
You are loved
Don’t give up
It’s just the weight of the world
Don’t give up
Every one is to be heard
You are loved
Scrapbooks for the Soul
