I have great intuition (as we all do), but difficulty listening to it.  My vow in 2011 is to make this leap and choose based on feeling rather than rationale.  Instead of analyzing the what ifs, focus on my internal reactions and really get in touch with what my heart is telling me to do.

I recently celebrated my 47th birthday… my heart says it’s time to give it top billing.   I’m off to a good start, I think.  Oops, did I say think? 

Heart takes top billing in 2011

One of my teachers said that a good test of how comfortable you are with yourself  is to sit by yourself in a room with no music, TV or books – just in silence – for an hour.   An hour would be a long time!  I’m not ready to try that one just yet.    I do know that I”m comfortable with the space between spoken words, the silence that lingers in conversation.  Those who are uncomfortable with silence feel insecure so they fill silence with incessant chatter.  I believe it’s to avoid getting in touch with feelings.

S…mart
P…eople
A…re
C…onsciously
E…xpanding in their SPACE

Yes, I just need to BE.  I’ll work up to that hour…

“..for her, every day was the same, and when each day is the same as the next, it’s because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day that the sun rises.”

2011 is a new year, and there’s no time like the present to resurrect my blog and begin writing again.  There’s no time like the present to recognize the good things in my life. 

There’s no Present like Time.

Happy New Year!

A couple weeks ago, a girlfriend and I were in Florida laying by the pool, catching up on each other’s lives and talking about some personal challenges we’ve each been going through.  The conversation was getting heavy, she’s going through a separation and major life shift.  I’m going through my own mid-life, existential stuff like what do I want to be when I grow up, who am I really, etc.

We were discussing a particularly challenging situation when all of a sudden we both looked up and right there directly in front of us in the sky was this message…

The Universe is Talking to Me

We were both speechless.  This was no synchronicity.  This was no coincidence.  This was the Universe telling us… wake up, we’ve been trying to get your attention…  how much louder do you need us to be?!

This was then followed by…

Remember Spirit

After some moments of silence, my girlfriend said, “Wierd. That freaks me out!”   “No,” I responded, “I love when stuff like this happens.  It’s exciting to me!  It’s the Universe telling me to wake up.”

Enough said.

I don’t know what drove me to act so out of character, but I experienced a side of myself I didn’t think I had and I didn’t like it one bit.  As I was told, I am “better than that.”  It took someone else to remind me of who I am.

The Universal Law of Polarity comes to mind.  For everything there is an opposite.  In order to experience light, there must be darkness. We would only know love, if we had experienced not being in love.   To grow and have joy, we must push through chaos and sadness.  We couldn’t differentiate one if we didn’t have the other.

To shine, we must see the depths of our character.  I felt mistrust, followed by despair, then shame.

Life is an interesting school.  We’re all here to learn and the lessons are different for each of us.  If we don’t pass the tests and learn the lessons, we’re bound to repeat our mistakes and be tested again until we get it right.  Whether that’s in this lifetime or another is for our soul to decide.

For now, I will allow myself to feel this shame, wallow in it awhile so that I will remember this.  I’ve shed tears for the hurt I’ve caused, including for the great disappointment in myself (how could I not trust another or myself? so not like me.)

I’ll ask for forgiveness.  Then I’ll forgive myself, take from these lessons and shine my light in the world once again.

You Are Loved (Don’t Give Up)  by Josh Groban
Don’t give up
It’s just the weight of the world
When you’re heart’s heavy
I…I will lift it for you

Don’t give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I…I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don’t give up
Because you are loved

Don’t give up
It’s just the hurt that you hide
When you’re lost inside
I…I will be there to find you

Don’t give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I…I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don’t give up
Because you are loved

You are loved
Don’t give up
It’s just the weight of the world
Don’t give up
Every one is to be heard
You are loved

One and a half weeks ago I had an opportunity to fully experience the depth of my gratitude for all the abundance in my life.  That in itself was a beautiful gift.  Yet, by the end of that weekend  I was given one of the greatest gifts ever… to know and understand my personal power.

Brenda at Creating Absolute Wealth, San Diego Dec.2008

I appreciate how blessed I am to have a roof over my head, food on my table, money in my pocket, and the love and support of friends and family.  I was provided many opportunities to know that and to give back to others in many many ways that warmed my heart.

Yet to understand my personal power, that is something for which words cannot express the overwhelming gratitude I felt in experiencing my dream becoming a reality in the presence of like-minded friends.   I will leave it at that for the moment.  But in thanks for that opportunity, I would like to give you — my dear readers and friends — the opportunity to experience a little of the same…

My teacher is giving back by offering a special live event FREE in both Toronto Jan.27th and Vancouver March 10th.   Other cities in North America are available if you check the LIVE EVENT schedule at www.5pillarsofharmony.com  Registration for Toronto is now open; the Vancouver date will open late January.   To register and learn more, simply visit  www.5pillarsofharmony.com , click on LIVE EVENTS, then SEE JAMES FREE and scroll down to click on the date you wish to attend.   I will see you in Toronto!

Wishing you Peace, Joy and Harmony Always

With James Ray at Creating Absolute Wealth, San Diego Dec.2008

If our bodies are 70% water, it’s only natural for us to be attracted to water.  Like Spirit curling its finger telling us to come, as each wave curls, Spirit’s finger curls… “come, come and listen to me.  I have something important to tell you… you are not alone.  I am here for you and just as I am one with you, we are one with the sand, the surfers, the breeze, the sun.”   We each make up part of the Universe.  All for one, one for all.  As the grain of sand is a moment in time, you are but a particle of the Universe, of God.

And God invites you to become more.  Expand, learn, grow, live fully, love fully, find peace and joy.  Harmony.

A footprint pressed into the beach tells a story of it’s owner.  Where they’ve come from, where they’re going.  Were they in a hurry?  Did they pause to listen to the surf?  Stop to face the sun?

As the wind blows sand on my back, in my hair, on the pages of my journal, I pause and wonder if those who chose this place as home take time to appreciate its beauty every day.

I have a funny thought.  I can meditate to the sounds of the crashing surf two ways.  I can buy a CD of surf sounds (I’m sure someone has made one for city dwellers who live inland; postscript: see attached video).  Or I can choose the real deal and move to the coast.  I miss the ocean.  It called to me once before, 21 years ago, and I listened.  It’s calling again…

written in San Diego, California Dec. 9/08

I recommend reading Hidden Messages in Water by Dr. Masaru Emoto

It’s interesting how people come and go in one’s life.  Sometimes we’re fortunate to have them in our life for a long time, sometimes for a short time.   Regardless whether it’s minutes, days, months or years, each person impacts our life in some form; there is value in every encounter and it brings learning that we carry through life.

If we’re blessed, we have friendships that last a lifetime.  I have friends in other provinces and countries who I consider my closest even though I don’t see them often, or we may only talk once a year or two.  A quick email or a phone call connects us instantly, transporting us back to the times and experiences that we shared together, instantly recreating that bond. 

Then there are friendships we seem to stumble upon (although The Universe always has a plan and nothing is by accident); these are people who impact us in great ways when we least expect it.   They breeze in and out of our life so quickly that it seems like a blink of an eye.   I’ve had such an experience recently where I learned a lot about myself and am forever grateful that this person held up that imaginary mirror  so that I could see in my reflection where I was not being authentic or open.  I had thought I was doing great work to open my heart but the mirror showed that my defences were still in place, my protective barriers were up. 

We put forward a face to the world and sometimes this is not the truth of who we are.   The commonality of us as humans is that we all desire Love and we all have our fears.  And this is where the real work begins…

Namaste

Enjoy the message in this song/video by Natasha Bedingfield.  The lyrics are below http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggQAaHJxwwk

I BRUISE EASILY
My skin is like a map, of where my heart has been
And I can’t hide the marks, but it’s not a negative thing
So I let down my guard, drop my defences, down by my clothes
I’m learning to fall, with no safety net, to cushion the blow

I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me
There’s a mark you leave, like a love heart, carved on a tree
I bruise easily, can’t scratch the surface without moving me
Underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily

I’ve found your finger prints on a glass of wine
Do you know you’re leaving them all over this heart of mine too
But if I never take this leap of faith I’ll never know
So I’m learning to fall with no safety net to cushion the blow

I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me
There’s a mark you leave, like a love heart carved on a tree
I bruise easily, can’t scratch the surface without moving me
Underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily

Anyone who can touch you, can hurt you, or heal you
Anyone who can reach you, can love you, or leave you

So be gentle
So be gentle
So be gentle
So be gentle

I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me
There’s a mark you leave, like a love heart, carved on a tree
I bruise easily, can’t scratch the surface without moving me
Underneath I bruise easily,

I bruise easily, so be gentle when you handle me
There’s a mark you leave, like a love heart, carved on a tree
I bruise easily, can’t scratch the surface without moving me
Underneath I bruise easily, I bruise easily

I bruise easily
I bruise easily

Mary Kay, the cosmetic queen, used to say that you eat an elephant one bite at a time.  Break whatever it is you’re faced with down into small bits and work at it slowly.  That’s how things get done. Keep the end in mind, I believe that was Stephen Covey’s words.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been feeling overwhelmed these days.  Mostly it’s because of expectations I have for myself and my life, and I feel I’m not meeting them or accomplishing all I wish.  So the retreat time I took away was to refect on what it is exactly I want to do, what is my purpose, and who will be joining me in that journey. 

So, how do we go about tackling a seemingly overwhelming life to-do list?  Step back, take time, meditate, find clarity and decide what is most important in this moment.

One of my favourite to-do list activities comes from Abraham-Hicks.  They call it the placemat process (because Esther Hicks wrote her list on a restaurant placement); I call it the Universal Manager’s to-do list.  Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the center.  On the left side write “My To Do List for Today” and on the right side write “Universe’s To Do List”.  On the left, write only those things that you wish to accomplish today that require action (a phone call to a client, an errand, that sort of thing).  On the Universe’s side, write all those things running around in your head whether they are short-term or long-term activities and goals.   I have found two things happen when write this daily lists:

1. It takes a lot of pressure off of me because I know I need to focus on only a few things and the Universe will take care of everything else in good time.  

2. The Universal list seems to get accomplished much faster than I anticipate!  Because I’ve let go and put it in the hands of my Universal Manager.  I have faith it will get done and it always does, in a timely manner.  It’s important to note though that these items must be things I truly want.  It must be in my vibration, it must be authentic for me.

Try this activity… you can learn more about it in the Abraham-Hicks book Ask & It is Given (or the audio book processes)

We’re all guilty of at times neglecting someone or something in our lives… including ourselves.   I’ve unfortunately neglected writing in this blog for several weeks… all with good reason.  But I have surely missed it.   I am happy to report I’m taking a week’s retreat all by myself in the country so that I can offer some much needed attention to my meditation and journalling practice which has also been neglected.

So, please do check back soon as I have much to write about and will post again very soon!